“Star Wars Fans” don’t deserve The Last Jedi

[Yes, here be spoilers… but honestly, grow up and get over it.]

This is not going to go the way you think.

Like everyone else worth knowing, I saw The Last Jedi opening night. My friends and I had great seats (you’re welcome, friends) and for two and a half hours I sat there in Hazlet, New Jersey, shocked by what I was watching. Sometimes it was a good shock, sometimes it was a bad shock. Now that it’s out on digital (yes, I preordered), I’m even more convinced of what I felt while watching that opening night: The Last Jedi is the best “movie” in the entire Star Wars franchise… and it’s too good for Star Wars fans.*

Now, before you start furiously jerking your nerdrage, allow me to explain…

“I used to live here, you know.” “You’re gonna die here, you know.”

Star Wars is not a brilliant movie franchise.

Let’s start with the heresy. Star Wars movies are wonderful popular entertainment. Star Wars movies are not art installations. Star Wars is not subtle or sophisticated, it is not mature or complex, it is a fairy tale in space. Even The Empire Strikes Back, universally agreed to be the best of the franchise, is a genre-defining movie, but it’s not some experimental arthouse cult film. It’s the darkest chapter of Star Wars, but it still…