Star Trek Recap — March 2022

Why does Zombie Trek even exist?

The Star Trek Discovery finale was last night. It was boring and self-indulgent and plagiaristic and Burnham is a terrible captain. The big internet buzz is that Stacey Abrams was the president of Earth because the producers have no idea they’re making Star Trek and not Family Guy. I will say, having one show runner for an entire season sure does help, doesn’t it?

Star Trek Picard episode 3 was last night, too. I haven’t written anything about season 2 of Picard yet so let’s go over some things:

• Everyone is trying desperately to sweep the whole “he’s a robot now” thing under the rug. Can’t blame them. Chabon should be blackballed for that nonsense.
• They consolidated the cast to just Rios, Jurati, and Seven. Rafi and Elnor are also there sometimes but I can’t figure out why.
• Patrick Stewart looks like he’s dying every scene. It’s embarrassing for everyone.
• Jon DeLancie and Whoopi were great even if the story is dumb as heck.
• If we get one more “evil Earth” storyline I’m going to riot and throw stuff really hard against the wall. “But it’s not the mirror universe!!!” they gloat, idiotically. Which reminds me: everyone who supports these shows is an idiot and is being blatantly used by CBS.