“Children of Mars” wants you to have ALL THE FEELS

“Superficial. Fascist uniforms. Discovery ships and shuttles. Asshole children. Paramount mountain! Oh fuck off.”

That’s a transcription of my notes as I watched all 10 minutes of “Children of Mars.”

I fondly remember my days of taking a covered wagon to the fascism academy!

What can I say? It’s our first real entry into the STP story — and what do we have? 9/11 on Mars! Cool.

Also Peter Gabriel covering David Bowie, ripping off the emotional ending of Stranger Things season 3. Very cool.

And no dialogue. Actually, that part was fine.

OMG did u kno Mars was the g0d of WAR?!!!??

Look, of course STP won’t have the same feel and context as TNG. And nor should it! We don’t live in the post-cold war milieu of the 80s/90s anymore, and if STP wants to succeed as a good scifi show (which should be the goal!), then it should be drawing from the ensuing twenty years for new allegories and new ways of telling stories about humanity. Terrorism, militarism, massive geopolitical upheaval — awesome, do it. That makes perfect sense in a galaxy where a rival superpower was decapitated and now you’re dealing with the chaos of what’s left. But going full 9/11 on us? C’mon.

Conclusion: This #ShortTrek was boring and contrived, with its faux-artistic framing and manufactured emotional manipulation in place of interesting filmmaking. But hey, at least it was really short! #TruthInAdvertising

“My god, Bones, what have I done?” “What you had to do, what you always do: turned death into a fighting chance to live.” — Unrelated Star Trek quote